Okay...full disclosure...I love American Idol! I love that it is that time of year again when we go through the exciting process of listening to the crazy (i.e. Paula) and her wickedly funny vacant looks, and stupid commentary (this would be one of my Nuggets of Joy).
So...with American Idol having been on TV for two weeks now, we have not heard very much crazy come out of the mouth of Paula. Perhaps this is because their is a new judge. Perhaps it is that the producers told her not to open her mouth. Who knows??? So I have been a bit disappointed thus far. Last night however...my disappointment went out the window. Time for Crazy!!!
For those of you who missed it...a recap.
A very talented young women got up to sing. She did a great job, and at the end...the judges all gave her high marks. After the judges commentary/praise, the young women began to cry. Then came the Nugget of Joy....Paula then opens her mouth and said "Don't Cry...You are worthy." WHAT THE CRACK??? Worthy of what? Now, many of you might think that she was saying "worthy to move on because your very talented." But...that is not what she said. It was very weird...Paula was talking like she was a deity (i.e. Oprah) and was speaking as if this young women was worthy to be in her presence. What a Freak.....
I just wished that someone would say to Paula "your not worthy...get off the stage!"
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I Got A Big Ego.....
"Hey how you doing? You know I'm gonna cut right to the chase. Some men were made. But me, myself I like to think I was created for a special purpose. You know, what's more special than me?"
My Trip to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America....Part 3
So, now were are off to the local DMV. In my town, you can go to the real DMV (which is just as bad as the Social Security Administration of the United States of America), or an express DMV. So I choose to drive 10 extra miles and go to the express DMV.
When I arrived, I entered to see 1 customer and 5 employees sitting behind a desk. I was immeidately directed to pull a number and wait. So, I sat on a long bench like couch and about 20 seconds later, my number was called. I was astonished that this process even needed to occur considering the other customer was being assisted. So, I went to where I was called to and sat down. I explained what I needed and I was directed to go and fill out the blue form on the wall. I asked if I could fill it out at her cubical and she said no. Oaky, I would understand this if there were ANYONE ELSE IN THE OFFICE!
So, I filled out my blue form and waited a few more minutes and then was called on. Then I sat and she asked what identification I would be providing. I told her I had my birth cerfiticate (which she said "that's a good start), and then I pulled out my temorpoary Social Security card that I got from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office. Her and her co-worker looked at each other with a funny look. I asked if they had ever been there...at which they both replied yes. I asked them if they had noticed all of the ugly people. They laughed. I did give props though to all of the ugly...they did put on their best sweats for the trip to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America.
I then asked the DMV workers if they knew if there was a waiting room at the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office for those of us that were not ugly. They were puzzled by this question and said "no." I told them that I felt like asking because I did not want to sit with all of the ugly!
You may think that this is a crazy request, but I did one time go to a local clinic and after being coughed on by all of the crazy people looking for free health care (as if this is Canada), I asked the nurse where was the waiting room for those of us who could pay.
I told this to the DMV women and they could not believe I was saying this. I did really ask this question, and to my surprise...THERE WAS! I was directed to a back office waiting room were there were a couple other people WHO COULD PAY!!!!
The morale of these stories is...if you lose your Social Security card from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America, you will be punished by having to wait, deal with looking at the ugly, and being punished by having to talk to a Federal employee who has no personality!
When I arrived, I entered to see 1 customer and 5 employees sitting behind a desk. I was immeidately directed to pull a number and wait. So, I sat on a long bench like couch and about 20 seconds later, my number was called. I was astonished that this process even needed to occur considering the other customer was being assisted. So, I went to where I was called to and sat down. I explained what I needed and I was directed to go and fill out the blue form on the wall. I asked if I could fill it out at her cubical and she said no. Oaky, I would understand this if there were ANYONE ELSE IN THE OFFICE!
So, I filled out my blue form and waited a few more minutes and then was called on. Then I sat and she asked what identification I would be providing. I told her I had my birth cerfiticate (which she said "that's a good start), and then I pulled out my temorpoary Social Security card that I got from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office. Her and her co-worker looked at each other with a funny look. I asked if they had ever been there...at which they both replied yes. I asked them if they had noticed all of the ugly people. They laughed. I did give props though to all of the ugly...they did put on their best sweats for the trip to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America.
I then asked the DMV workers if they knew if there was a waiting room at the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office for those of us that were not ugly. They were puzzled by this question and said "no." I told them that I felt like asking because I did not want to sit with all of the ugly!
You may think that this is a crazy request, but I did one time go to a local clinic and after being coughed on by all of the crazy people looking for free health care (as if this is Canada), I asked the nurse where was the waiting room for those of us who could pay.
I told this to the DMV women and they could not believe I was saying this. I did really ask this question, and to my surprise...THERE WAS! I was directed to a back office waiting room were there were a couple other people WHO COULD PAY!!!!
The morale of these stories is...if you lose your Social Security card from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America, you will be punished by having to wait, deal with looking at the ugly, and being punished by having to talk to a Federal employee who has no personality!
My Trip to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America...Part 2
If you have ever been to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office, you will notice that everyone there is UGLY!!!! I kid you not...if you want proof go. I felt bad for all of the Social Security Administration of the United States of America workers. Just think....they spend their day looking out from their plexi glass windows at a sea of ugliness (not that they had any beauty to write home about). Perhaps it is the bad florecent lighting.
They also had a security guard that made me laugh. His job was to sit behind a desk, and periodically stand infront of the room with his hands on his hips and stare at us. Just think how pissed he must have been to awake one morning and realize that he is the security guard at the Social Security Administration of the United States of America. How he must make a difference in the lives of others....Anyway....
As the we approached my number (they called A100....) I started to get the hibbie geebiees. My legs started shaking because I was sooo excited that my number was approaching. When my number got called, I went up to the window, and the Social Security Administration of the United States of America employee said can I see your identlification. I explained that I did not have a drivers license, but I had my medical records. The man explianed that the Social Security Administration of the United States of America would not accept this (even though I told him that I called and this is what I was instructed to do). He asked if I had a health card and I said yes...he told me that they would accept that. I was surprised that a simple health card would be acceptable (that acutally concerns me beacuse anyone could walk in with a health card). He then asked if I needed a temopary Social Security Card and I said sure....and asked if the DMV would accept that (that way...I could also get a drivers license). He then went on to say that this is the Social Security Administration of the United States of America and any form from them is a legal document of the Federal Government of the United States of America. And with that, the DMV would have to accept it. I thought "SCORE" I could accomplish two things in one day.
On to the DMV.....
They also had a security guard that made me laugh. His job was to sit behind a desk, and periodically stand infront of the room with his hands on his hips and stare at us. Just think how pissed he must have been to awake one morning and realize that he is the security guard at the Social Security Administration of the United States of America. How he must make a difference in the lives of others....Anyway....
As the we approached my number (they called A100....) I started to get the hibbie geebiees. My legs started shaking because I was sooo excited that my number was approaching. When my number got called, I went up to the window, and the Social Security Administration of the United States of America employee said can I see your identlification. I explained that I did not have a drivers license, but I had my medical records. The man explianed that the Social Security Administration of the United States of America would not accept this (even though I told him that I called and this is what I was instructed to do). He asked if I had a health card and I said yes...he told me that they would accept that. I was surprised that a simple health card would be acceptable (that acutally concerns me beacuse anyone could walk in with a health card). He then asked if I needed a temopary Social Security Card and I said sure....and asked if the DMV would accept that (that way...I could also get a drivers license). He then went on to say that this is the Social Security Administration of the United States of America and any form from them is a legal document of the Federal Government of the United States of America. And with that, the DMV would have to accept it. I thought "SCORE" I could accomplish two things in one day.
On to the DMV.....
My Trip to the Social Security Office and DMV Part 1
Okay...get comfortable because this is a long story. But, you get two stories for the price of one!
Very Important Background Information..........
several weeks ago, I noticed that I had lost my drivers license. I think I went to Costco and put my drivers license, Costco card, and bankcard in the pocket of my pants. Unfortunately, I had all of the items after my clothes went through the wash with the exception of my drivers license. So, I began the long painful process to have my drivers license replaced. What I found throughout this experience is that it is not always as easy as you might think.
So...to replace a drivers license, you need to have a birth certificate and a social security card. No problem I thought until I could not locate either of the needed documents. So I looked up what it took to replace my birth certificate and also my Social Security card. The birth certificate was a piece of cake (I ordered it directly from the State that I was born in's website). The Social Security card was a bit more difficult. The requirements from the Social Security Admin is that you need to provide proof of identify (i.e. a drivers license). So...if I needed a drivers license to get a new Social Security card and I need a Social Security card to get a drivers license, what is one to do?
I then contacted the Social Security Administration of the United States of America (I will be using the full name from here on out because that is how it was used by the SSA employee when I actually got my card....) and they said that I could not use a birth certificate because those could be easily forged. They would however accept medical records. I told the representiitve from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America that the policy was crazy because one could much easly forge the medical records verses a legal state document. That being said, I moved on to getting a copy of my medical records. This proved to be just as difficult.
Within the past three years, I had only been to the doctor once. That was a very painful visit to our local E.R. So, I contacted the hospital and they told me that it would take 10 business days to get my records. So after 10 days, when I had not recieved them, the hospital said that they forgot to send them out. Needless to say, last Thursday, I had all my ducks in a row (and in a special white envelope)...I was off to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office.
On With The Story...........
At our local Social Security Administration of the United States of America office, there are only say 30 parking places (but the staff has 150 behind a gated wall...go figure). When I first arrived and circled around the tiny parking lot and discovered there were no parking places, I decided to see what was down the street. First of all, the building is surrounded by apartment buildings all of which have signs posting that their parking lots and infront of their buildings are for their tenents only. Next to the apartments is a dirt field. I was not about to park in the unattended dirt field that is in the ghetto. So I turned back to find a space where there was a car parked (who's owner appered to be ready to leave). The person owning the car got in, baked a three teired wedding cake, got a pedicure, and talked on their phone...then they pulled out.
What made me upset about this was while I was waiting for the three teir wedding cake to be frosted, three mini van's with at least 20 people piled out, and illegally parked infront of the office (keeping one person in them so that if they are caught, the vehicle could easily be moved). That normally would not bother me except when I got into the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office, you have to check in at a kiosk and you are assigned a number.
When I first entered I was astonished because while there were probably only 30 cars in the parking lot, there were at least 150 people in the waiting area. I thought what...do these people pour water on their heads and they multiply? Anyway....I was excited because they were on number A82 and I was A118. I figured that with only three of the twenty windows open (go figure...its the Federal goverment) I would only have to wait three hours. I was surpised to find out that the key was the letter in front of my number. There was not only A's, but B's, C's, D's and M's (not sure what the M's were for...). Anyway...they would toggle between the numbers (ex: A1, B1, C,1, D1, M1, the...A2, B2, ect). I thne realized that I would be there forever.
Very Important Background Information..........
several weeks ago, I noticed that I had lost my drivers license. I think I went to Costco and put my drivers license, Costco card, and bankcard in the pocket of my pants. Unfortunately, I had all of the items after my clothes went through the wash with the exception of my drivers license. So, I began the long painful process to have my drivers license replaced. What I found throughout this experience is that it is not always as easy as you might think.
So...to replace a drivers license, you need to have a birth certificate and a social security card. No problem I thought until I could not locate either of the needed documents. So I looked up what it took to replace my birth certificate and also my Social Security card. The birth certificate was a piece of cake (I ordered it directly from the State that I was born in's website). The Social Security card was a bit more difficult. The requirements from the Social Security Admin is that you need to provide proof of identify (i.e. a drivers license). So...if I needed a drivers license to get a new Social Security card and I need a Social Security card to get a drivers license, what is one to do?
I then contacted the Social Security Administration of the United States of America (I will be using the full name from here on out because that is how it was used by the SSA employee when I actually got my card....) and they said that I could not use a birth certificate because those could be easily forged. They would however accept medical records. I told the representiitve from the Social Security Administration of the United States of America that the policy was crazy because one could much easly forge the medical records verses a legal state document. That being said, I moved on to getting a copy of my medical records. This proved to be just as difficult.
Within the past three years, I had only been to the doctor once. That was a very painful visit to our local E.R. So, I contacted the hospital and they told me that it would take 10 business days to get my records. So after 10 days, when I had not recieved them, the hospital said that they forgot to send them out. Needless to say, last Thursday, I had all my ducks in a row (and in a special white envelope)...I was off to the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office.
On With The Story...........
At our local Social Security Administration of the United States of America office, there are only say 30 parking places (but the staff has 150 behind a gated wall...go figure). When I first arrived and circled around the tiny parking lot and discovered there were no parking places, I decided to see what was down the street. First of all, the building is surrounded by apartment buildings all of which have signs posting that their parking lots and infront of their buildings are for their tenents only. Next to the apartments is a dirt field. I was not about to park in the unattended dirt field that is in the ghetto. So I turned back to find a space where there was a car parked (who's owner appered to be ready to leave). The person owning the car got in, baked a three teired wedding cake, got a pedicure, and talked on their phone...then they pulled out.
What made me upset about this was while I was waiting for the three teir wedding cake to be frosted, three mini van's with at least 20 people piled out, and illegally parked infront of the office (keeping one person in them so that if they are caught, the vehicle could easily be moved). That normally would not bother me except when I got into the Social Security Administration of the United States of America office, you have to check in at a kiosk and you are assigned a number.
When I first entered I was astonished because while there were probably only 30 cars in the parking lot, there were at least 150 people in the waiting area. I thought what...do these people pour water on their heads and they multiply? Anyway....I was excited because they were on number A82 and I was A118. I figured that with only three of the twenty windows open (go figure...its the Federal goverment) I would only have to wait three hours. I was surpised to find out that the key was the letter in front of my number. There was not only A's, but B's, C's, D's and M's (not sure what the M's were for...). Anyway...they would toggle between the numbers (ex: A1, B1, C,1, D1, M1, the...A2, B2, ect). I thne realized that I would be there forever.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tales for the gym.....
I know each of you love my gym stories, so here is another one....
I get my best stories from sitting in the sauna and having people think that I have my iPod on when I am actually easedropping on the moronic stuff that they are talking about. There have been so many times when I have wanted to say Bull Crap to what was being discussed. I have never felt this way more than today.
I was in the sauna, and it was packed. People were waiting outside to even get in. Typically this is great because for those of us inside, there are those men who just have to bond with the other men in the sauna.
Today, the first discussion was about ultamate fighting. Apperently, there was one guy who did ultamate fighting, one who was intraining, and an old man who wished that he could be one. I sat there listening to the ridicuolus discussion on how boxing is so weak and today, everyone who does it just dances around the ring. Apparently, becuase in ultamate fighting (I learned this today), the only rules are: 1. You can't bite (thanks a lot Tyson), 2. You can't hit a guy below the belt, and 3. Ummmm...that's about it. Apparently, because you can beat another human until they are laying on the ground and are unable to do anything but moan is so much better than boxing. After this discussion, I got the Nugget of Joy that I had been waiting for.
So...I live in a community that has a semi-large college. It also has a loser of a football team that apperently everyone in this community thinks is GREAT!!! At my gym, we typically see a lot of the college students working out.
***This brings me to a tangent. Why are college students leaving campus to come to my gym? When I was in school, we had our own on campus. ***Anyway...the college kids tend to be very stupid because all they can think about is working out, getting drunk, and what lame thing they did last night.
Today, was no exception. There were two college guys who were in the sauna with me who were talking like they were on someting. The conversation began with them disucssing how cool the sauna was at helping with a hang over (what losers). Next, they began talking about going to Disneyland over spring break so that they could do acid. What!!!! That is sooo stupid!!!!
Then they continued to discuss doing weed. Apparently, one boy has headache's and he asked his doctor for weed. What a loser.
Next, they began talking about how during the Vietnum war, the Vietnumees would take tooth picks and put feceies on the ends and stick them in the ground. That way, when someone stepped on them, they would get an infection.
Now, I was not the only one in the sauna at this time. It was these to morons, and two of the ultamate fighters. As I was sitting listening to their moronic stories, one of the ultamate fighters spoke up and said BULL S!@#$. I started to laugh out loud. Which is an uncommon bodliy reaction for me when I am easedropping.
The ultamate fighter called these two losers out for the losers that they are. Immediately, the losers left, and I thanked my hero's for the day...the ultamate fighters.
I get my best stories from sitting in the sauna and having people think that I have my iPod on when I am actually easedropping on the moronic stuff that they are talking about. There have been so many times when I have wanted to say Bull Crap to what was being discussed. I have never felt this way more than today.
I was in the sauna, and it was packed. People were waiting outside to even get in. Typically this is great because for those of us inside, there are those men who just have to bond with the other men in the sauna.
Today, the first discussion was about ultamate fighting. Apperently, there was one guy who did ultamate fighting, one who was intraining, and an old man who wished that he could be one. I sat there listening to the ridicuolus discussion on how boxing is so weak and today, everyone who does it just dances around the ring. Apparently, becuase in ultamate fighting (I learned this today), the only rules are: 1. You can't bite (thanks a lot Tyson), 2. You can't hit a guy below the belt, and 3. Ummmm...that's about it. Apparently, because you can beat another human until they are laying on the ground and are unable to do anything but moan is so much better than boxing. After this discussion, I got the Nugget of Joy that I had been waiting for.
So...I live in a community that has a semi-large college. It also has a loser of a football team that apperently everyone in this community thinks is GREAT!!! At my gym, we typically see a lot of the college students working out.
***This brings me to a tangent. Why are college students leaving campus to come to my gym? When I was in school, we had our own on campus. ***Anyway...the college kids tend to be very stupid because all they can think about is working out, getting drunk, and what lame thing they did last night.
Today, was no exception. There were two college guys who were in the sauna with me who were talking like they were on someting. The conversation began with them disucssing how cool the sauna was at helping with a hang over (what losers). Next, they began talking about going to Disneyland over spring break so that they could do acid. What!!!! That is sooo stupid!!!!
Then they continued to discuss doing weed. Apparently, one boy has headache's and he asked his doctor for weed. What a loser.
Next, they began talking about how during the Vietnum war, the Vietnumees would take tooth picks and put feceies on the ends and stick them in the ground. That way, when someone stepped on them, they would get an infection.
Now, I was not the only one in the sauna at this time. It was these to morons, and two of the ultamate fighters. As I was sitting listening to their moronic stories, one of the ultamate fighters spoke up and said BULL S!@#$. I started to laugh out loud. Which is an uncommon bodliy reaction for me when I am easedropping.
The ultamate fighter called these two losers out for the losers that they are. Immediately, the losers left, and I thanked my hero's for the day...the ultamate fighters.
Costco Members Can Be Such Tools!!!
One of my wife's favorite things to do is to send me to Costco just before they close. It is never midday, or in the morning...it is always at night. Oh...and it is typically just for a few items (unless my I have my cell phone which then the few items turns into a shopping cart full of stuff). So today, I was given such a task for a few items and of course right before they were to close.
So, I jumped into my SUV (yes, I dive a gas guzzling SUV, it brings me joy and happiness knowing that I am powerful behind the wheel. And as for all of you who think I am ruining the environment..."global warming isn't real...it is just part of the end of day (thanks Tina Fey as Plain for that quote) and headed off across time hoping to get to Costco before they closed.
As I enter and show my card, I am obviously in a hurry so that I can get what is required and get out before they close. Immediately as I enter, there is a group (or a family...depends on how you categorize them) of three. Now, this might not be so outrageous, because they are not freaks like my wife and our four children, but they decided from the moment that they walked into the building that they must hold hands and place themselves in the center of the main walkway. I could not believe that they were so stupid not to notice those who are around them.
Everywhere I went, I experienced similar stupid people who are so caught up in their own world that they are totally unaware of those whom are around them. I can not even count how many times I had to wait for one of these stupid people to move their cart.
Now I know that all of the stupid Costco members are not totally at fault. After all, they obviously have no control over themselves nor their cart. Let's blame Costco for building HUGE carts for their HUGE mechanise that we get to use to truck around all of our SUPER SIZED CRAP!!!!
Better yet...let's just call it like we see it. Those who are so totally unaware of themselves and are RUDE because they are inept of being aware of those around them are TOOLS!!!
So, I jumped into my SUV (yes, I dive a gas guzzling SUV, it brings me joy and happiness knowing that I am powerful behind the wheel. And as for all of you who think I am ruining the environment..."global warming isn't real...it is just part of the end of day (thanks Tina Fey as Plain for that quote) and headed off across time hoping to get to Costco before they closed.
As I enter and show my card, I am obviously in a hurry so that I can get what is required and get out before they close. Immediately as I enter, there is a group (or a family...depends on how you categorize them) of three. Now, this might not be so outrageous, because they are not freaks like my wife and our four children, but they decided from the moment that they walked into the building that they must hold hands and place themselves in the center of the main walkway. I could not believe that they were so stupid not to notice those who are around them.
Everywhere I went, I experienced similar stupid people who are so caught up in their own world that they are totally unaware of those whom are around them. I can not even count how many times I had to wait for one of these stupid people to move their cart.
Now I know that all of the stupid Costco members are not totally at fault. After all, they obviously have no control over themselves nor their cart. Let's blame Costco for building HUGE carts for their HUGE mechanise that we get to use to truck around all of our SUPER SIZED CRAP!!!!
Better yet...let's just call it like we see it. Those who are so totally unaware of themselves and are RUDE because they are inept of being aware of those around them are TOOLS!!!
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