Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Crazy Lesbians...

What is up with the Crazy Lesbians....Sure, they have many talents. They like to chop down trees and build houses with the wood, they are gifted at auto repair, but seriously...what is up with them? Lets begin...

So today at the house of vanity, I saw what I have never seen before. A group of lesbians in a hot tub. They were so whacked out. All tattooed and talking all kinds of crazy. Full disclosure...I am not a fan of public display of affection. This group of Crazy Lesbians were not only displaying publically their affection, but they were so obsene that I had to leave.

What is also up with their fashion sense. Has the L Word done nothing to teach the Crazy Lesbians how to not be ugly?

I am making a declaration to all....let's not have full on orgies in a hot tub at a public place (Crazy Lesbians), and let's all try not to be ugly!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I hope that each of you had a happy Valentines Day. I enjoyed mine...I spent time with my family and of course had sexy time with my wife (that is always a Joy)!!! That being said...I was a bit disappointed......

For several days, I had been thinking about what I should get my wife for V-Day. I know that there are the typical things such as flowers (which are ridiculous because the price for them is so inflated that they are not worth the day that they will live and then die. Perhaps I should by her flowers now that V-Day is over? I wonder if there are after V-Day sales on Flowers?), jewelry (which my wife would kill me for because she does not wear jewelry), or a secret rendezvous without the children (this would not work because we have soooo many kids that there is always one around).

So, to help me think about what I should get my wife, I started to hear for those "signals" that women like to drop. For several days, my wife had been complaining because she lost her can opener and she had to use this tiny 1" long can opener that did not really work. So I thought AH HA...that is what I will get her...a can opener. She would be so surprised and pleased because I took the hint!

On Thursday, I came home and my wife and I were talking about our days. She had mentioned that she went to the dollar store. This is always a joyful topic for me because I feel that the dollar store is only full of CRAP!!!! Then she dropped the bomb. She was so thrilled because she found at the dollar store a can opener. Without thinking, she bought it! Dang I have no gift for my wife on V-Day. I guess sexytime with me will have to do!

So the morale of the story is don't have to buy gifts for your wife on V-Day (such as a can opener). Just spend a little sexytime with her!