Friday, March 27, 2009

I've Been Saved!!!

Today, when I got into the office, I told my staff that I had been saved. They looked at me like what the Crack! They asked..."what have you been saved from?" I told them that I wasn't sure.

On my way into work, I stumbled across one of those insane Christian raido stations with the preachers on them. They were doing a therapy session on being saved. So...I have decided that this is my Montra for the week....

I've Been Saved!!!

A trip to the Post Office

Okay....Let me begin by saying that in no way to I want to make fun of losers. Okay...I lied. On with the rant!

Today, I went to the Post Office. I was standing in this long line and I was looking at the women in front of me. While looking at her, I was very confused about something. I could not put my finger on what was confusing about her. I then realized that it was her purse.

Okay...this women had on her shoulder a Louis Vuitton purse. This would not be such an odd thing if it wasn't for her acid washed jeans. Seriously...if you are wearing acid washed jeans from the 1980's, no one will believe that your Louis is REAL!!!

To top that off, she had with her two children who looked completely homeless. They had out of control curly hair that appeared not to have been combed in months! Then I continued to check out her special outfit and I noticed her shoes! She was wearing those white high top tennis shoes that have the double bubble at the top. HELLO!!!!!

The morale of this story is that if you want people to think your wealthy, hot, or awesome...don't wear acid washed jeans, high tops, have homeless looking children, and have a fake Louis Vuitton!!!

My Montra

"Strobe Lights Makes Everything Sexier." So...make sure you do everything in strobe lights so that you can be even more sexy!


I wanted to share with each of you my success story. With much starvation and my Monster diet, I am 1/2 a rib away from my goal. For those new to my goal is to be able to see 3 1/2 ribs. Ya the Olsen twins. I love their diet.