Saturday, January 10, 2009

Tales for the gym.....

I know each of you love my gym stories, so here is another one....

I get my best stories from sitting in the sauna and having people think that I have my iPod on when I am actually easedropping on the moronic stuff that they are talking about. There have been so many times when I have wanted to say Bull Crap to what was being discussed. I have never felt this way more than today.

I was in the sauna, and it was packed. People were waiting outside to even get in. Typically this is great because for those of us inside, there are those men who just have to bond with the other men in the sauna.

Today, the first discussion was about ultamate fighting. Apperently, there was one guy who did ultamate fighting, one who was intraining, and an old man who wished that he could be one. I sat there listening to the ridicuolus discussion on how boxing is so weak and today, everyone who does it just dances around the ring. Apparently, becuase in ultamate fighting (I learned this today), the only rules are: 1. You can't bite (thanks a lot Tyson), 2. You can't hit a guy below the belt, and 3. Ummmm...that's about it. Apparently, because you can beat another human until they are laying on the ground and are unable to do anything but moan is so much better than boxing. After this discussion, I got the Nugget of Joy that I had been waiting for.

So...I live in a community that has a semi-large college. It also has a loser of a football team that apperently everyone in this community thinks is GREAT!!! At my gym, we typically see a lot of the college students working out.
***This brings me to a tangent. Why are college students leaving campus to come to my gym? When I was in school, we had our own on campus. ***Anyway...the college kids tend to be very stupid because all they can think about is working out, getting drunk, and what lame thing they did last night.

Today, was no exception. There were two college guys who were in the sauna with me who were talking like they were on someting. The conversation began with them disucssing how cool the sauna was at helping with a hang over (what losers). Next, they began talking about going to Disneyland over spring break so that they could do acid. What!!!! That is sooo stupid!!!!

Then they continued to discuss doing weed. Apparently, one boy has headache's and he asked his doctor for weed. What a loser.

Next, they began talking about how during the Vietnum war, the Vietnumees would take tooth picks and put feceies on the ends and stick them in the ground. That way, when someone stepped on them, they would get an infection.

Now, I was not the only one in the sauna at this time. It was these to morons, and two of the ultamate fighters. As I was sitting listening to their moronic stories, one of the ultamate fighters spoke up and said BULL S!@#$. I started to laugh out loud. Which is an uncommon bodliy reaction for me when I am easedropping.

The ultamate fighter called these two losers out for the losers that they are. Immediately, the losers left, and I thanked my hero's for the day...the ultamate fighters.

Costco Members Can Be Such Tools!!!

One of my wife's favorite things to do is to send me to Costco just before they close. It is never midday, or in the is always at night. Oh...and it is typically just for a few items (unless my I have my cell phone which then the few items turns into a shopping cart full of stuff). So today, I was given such a task for a few items and of course right before they were to close.

So, I jumped into my SUV (yes, I dive a gas guzzling SUV, it brings me joy and happiness knowing that I am powerful behind the wheel. And as for all of you who think I am ruining the environment..."global warming isn't is just part of the end of day (thanks Tina Fey as Plain for that quote) and headed off across time hoping to get to Costco before they closed.

As I enter and show my card, I am obviously in a hurry so that I can get what is required and get out before they close. Immediately as I enter, there is a group (or a family...depends on how you categorize them) of three. Now, this might not be so outrageous, because they are not freaks like my wife and our four children, but they decided from the moment that they walked into the building that they must hold hands and place themselves in the center of the main walkway. I could not believe that they were so stupid not to notice those who are around them.

Everywhere I went, I experienced similar stupid people who are so caught up in their own world that they are totally unaware of those whom are around them. I can not even count how many times I had to wait for one of these stupid people to move their cart.

Now I know that all of the stupid Costco members are not totally at fault. After all, they obviously have no control over themselves nor their cart. Let's blame Costco for building HUGE carts for their HUGE mechanise that we get to use to truck around all of our SUPER SIZED CRAP!!!!

Better yet...let's just call it like we see it. Those who are so totally unaware of themselves and are RUDE because they are inept of being aware of those around them are TOOLS!!!