Saturday, December 27, 2008

I don't get Dude language...Another Story From The Gym!


A couple of day's ago, I was at the gym, Yes, sitting in the sauna (where all people become crazy and STUPID). There was a girl and I (both wearing our iPods), and another guy. Background info: The girl was laying on the top bench and I was sitting. The way the benches work is that the top one sits on the bottom one. So...if you are sitting ont he top bench, your feet are on the bottom. Typically, when there is more than two or three, I will pull my feet up to the top bench so there is more room for people to sit.

When the second guy came in, I scooted over so that he could sit on the top bench if he wanted. Of course, the girl laying down was a complete Tool and did not move (for those who are not gym goers, that is bad gym edicate). All of the sudden, another guy entered the sauna...this is where things go crazy).

So that second guy said "what's up my brother." This made me confused because neither guy #1 nor guy #2 looked like each other. Guy #2 responded by saying "What's up?" Then I heard guy #2 start taking crazy (this is when I turned off my iPod). "Man you know what is bad for you?" said guy #2. "Beer!" Then he said "you know what is good for you?....Wine." Guy #2 said "yes...the red kind! Its got all of those antioxidants in it."

Then guy #2 starting taking about when he was in high school and he drank liquid cocaine. What the crack is that????

To continue....guy #1 responded by saying "man, I would never drink anything that is called liquid cocaine. Man that must really mess you up." "Yes does" replied guy #2. Then guy #1 said that he would never drink that because he had a brother he did cocaine in high school. Then he turned to drug dealing and ended up in prison. Apparently that was bad because he has a "shorty" in San Diego that he has not seen in three years.

Okay, let me stop there. What the CRACK is a shorty? Is it a kid, a girlfriend? Please, someone who can interprete stupid dude language fill me in.

Guy #2 said "really, your brother is in prison? Man, I joined the army because I was messed up and I did not really want to go to prison." offense to those who serve our country, but I don't want only those who join so that they can stay out of jail serving our country. That is crazy!!!!

The morale of this story and many on this blog is that if you are going to talk stupid and say stupid things (even if you are speaking in your native language of Dude), be aware of those around you. Even those with iPods in may turn them off to hear your crazy (and about them).

Sorry for the lack of posting....

It has been several days since I have had the opportunity to blog. I have been earnestly looking for stories to tell you all, but with the holiday's, stupid people have not been up to their job of being stupid. Until today............

Okay...I have another gym story...this is where I get my best stuff.

So today, I was sitting in the sauna when another guy came in. I had my iPod on which is typically for most people at my gym. Full iPod has been having some problems. One side of the ear phones stopped working. So as I sat in the sauna, I could hear music out of only one side (that is the important part).

After being in the sauna for a couple of seconds (really like 2), the other guy started talking to himself. I thought this was weird, so of course, I turned down my iPod so I could ease drop. What the guy was saying was a bit odd. HE STARTED SAYING OBSCENITIES!!! He was saying S$%@$%$ and F&*&%%$$&*, and all kinds of CRAZY!!! What was interesting was that he was not saying it in a way like he was in pain or that the sauna was hot. He was saying it in an enjoyable way.

The morale of this story is....if you see someone with earphones on, don't assume that you can talk crazy and no one will notice/blog about it later! What a Tool!