I don't get Dude language...Another Story From The Gym!

So...

A couple of day's ago, I was at the gym, Yes, sitting in the sauna (where all people become crazy and STUPID). There was a girl and I (both wearing our iPods), and another guy. Background info: The girl was laying on the top bench and I was sitting. The way the benches work is that the top one sits on the bottom one. So...if you are sitting ont he top bench, your feet are on the bottom. Typically, when there is more than two or three, I will pull my feet up to the top bench so there is more room for people to sit.

When the second guy came in, I scooted over so that he could sit on the top bench if he wanted. Of course, the girl laying down was a complete Tool and did not move (for those who are not gym goers, that is bad gym edicate). All of the sudden, another guy entered the sauna...this is where things go crazy).

So that second guy said "what's up my brother." This made me confused because neither guy #1 nor guy #2 looked like each other. Guy #2 responded by saying "What's up?" Then I heard guy #2 start taking crazy (this is when I turned off my iPod). "Man you know what is bad for you?" said guy #2. "Beer!" Then he said "you know what is good for you?....Wine." Guy #2 said "yes...the red kind! Its got all of those antioxidants in it."

Then guy #2 starting taking about when he was in high school and he drank liquid cocaine. What the crack is that????

To continue....guy #1 responded by saying "man, I would never drink anything that is called liquid cocaine. Man that must really mess you up." "Yes man...it does" replied guy #2. Then guy #1 said that he would never drink that because he had a brother he did cocaine in high school. Then he turned to drug dealing and ended up in prison. Apparently that was bad because he has a "shorty" in San Diego that he has not seen in three years.

Okay, let me stop there. What the CRACK is a shorty? Is it a kid, a girlfriend? Please, someone who can interprete stupid dude language fill me in.

Guy #2 said "really, your brother is in prison? Man, I joined the army because I was messed up and I did not really want to go to prison."

Okay....no offense to those who serve our country, but I don't want only those who join so that they can stay out of jail serving our country. That is crazy!!!!

The morale of this story and many on this blog is that if you are going to talk stupid and say stupid things (even if you are speaking in your native language of Dude), be aware of those around you. Even those with iPods in may turn them off to hear your crazy (and yes...blog about them).