Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I DON'T WANT TO BE UNATTRACTIVE!!!!!!

To being with....the back story.........

I am a true believer that the car that you drive can have a direct impact on how you feel about yourself.  Call it shallow....who cares?  If I am driving a vehicle that makes me feel powerful, sexy, cool, admired by all whom I pass....I will fell good about myself.

I have been known to test drive a vehicle prior to buying it and driving past the downtown business.  They provide me the opportunity (thanks to their giant windows) to view how attractive I look in the vehicle I am driving prior to purchasing it.  The simple formula here is that if I look HOT....then I buy the car.  If I do not, that is a signal not to buy the car.

I have also been known to test drive vehicles and while test driving them, making the passenger get out so that I can back the car up, pass the passenger on the road, just so I can ask them how good I look in the vehicle.

10 years ago, I purchased a vehicle called...gulp....a Dodge Grand Caravan.  My wife typically drives this car because the moment that I step into the Caravan, I immediately get low self esteem.  My car on the other hand is a Dodge Durango.  I love this car.  It makes me feel powerful, sexy, and in charge!!!!   

Due to the recent economic downturn (i.e. gas is so expensive), I have begun to drive the Dodge Grand Caravan (which shall be known here on out in this blog as the ghetto mini van).  Today when I got to work, I realized how bad the day would be.  Not because I had a busy day planned, but rather because I had just stepped out of the esteem sucking ghetto mini van.  

When I got into my office, my co-workers noticed that I was not my normal chipper self.  One co-worker asked "what is wrong."  I exclaimed (okay...ranted)  "I DON'T WANT TO BE UGLY....I DON'T WANT TO BE UNATTRACTIVE."  The co-worker asked..."what brought this on?"  I then again ranted "I DRIVE A MINIVAN!"  They obviously did not understand because they drive a Toyota 4-Runner.

I did decided today that I needed to trade in my ghetto minivan on a Hummer.  I found own at a steal (mmmm....maybe this is because of the gas prices lately).  Oh who cares....gas is now cheap, global warming is a myth, and I would look powerful, sexy, and have a HUGE self-esteem boost.  I MUST BUY NOW!!!!

1 comment:

mamaA said...

So here's the thing...you do, you die! I'm the ghetto van lover and what A didn't tell you is that I love the van because of the built in carseats! The built in carseats provide one less thing to have to hunt for in the morning. And besides...I love sharing the ghetto stories about the car dying or the smashed in jelly donuts in the floor or the cracked window...so guess what...I'll take unattractive over the hummer anyday. P.S. He really did make me get out of the car so he could drive past me for a "Hotness" check.